I Can’t fail now: My resolution is tattooed on my arm….

The countdowns are over now—the “best of” lists done.  The live ball drop events have concluded ….  The line at Taco Bell was significantly shorter at noon today… the health club full of hell-bent resolutioners who nailed it on day 2.

 The evidence is overwhelming.  Mostly, it won’t last..  The best intentions, the sincere personal commitments…

I’m convinced it’s because people don’t really know what they want.

For me, getting honest and clear about what I really want has been a long significant journey of exploring the joy and pain of this life and understanding it a little more each day.

When I talk with people about what their goals and dreams are for the new year, I notice they talk about “what’s next”…  achievements and milestones they are looking to hit.. Loose 30 pounds, buy this car, travel here… stop this, start that… The thing is, I believe those are results of behavior and practice, not the goal themselves.   (( In my business world, I’m around people everyday who claim a profit number as a goal— I always sit quite thinking, that’s a result of how you show up everyday, not a goal….))

I’ve come to believe that what’s next isn’t of much concern… when I have a plan, things work out on life’s terms anyway so I do best surrendering to the mystery, remaining as present as possible and making sure I am equipped to navigate the best I can.

Instead of  “what’s next” I tend to have an overarching intention that requires focus and perspective changes.. Usually a diligence and commitment to a practice:

My intention this year is to Bow.  And If I bow, I want to bow low.

That means showing up everywhere with the truth.

It means talking less and listening more and being in service.

It really really really means remembering that Gods in the people, and that no matter who’s in front of me, that’s god—guests in the house , gods’ in the house.

I hope I make lots of money and invent some new ways…  make some new memories— I hope I travel the world and do cool stuff—but—- to me that’s all totally secondary.

I would trade that all in a red-hot minute to walk into every room without judgment, towards others or myself.  I would trade all my ambition and goals and drive and dreams for the relief of self-doubt, to bathe in unconditional love for everyone and myself.

I want to bow—I want to bow to everyone I meet, to be noble in every action and word, I want to help everyone I can reach in every way I can, and I want to start with me.

I want to love my world and my space and I want it to support me and my family’s inner growth first, outer growth second.

I want both, don’t get me wrong— but I want to bow low to this spiritual path first —I want to wake each day bowing to the greatness that I have another opportunity to breathe and be alive and find ways to give.

I want to not let an hour go by where I’m not in awe for the abundance I’ve been given.

I want to be a profound and noble steward of my talents and my focus and the abundance that delivers.

I want to go deep and bow low to this path and the teachers who walk with me every step of the way.

To Bow—that’s all I want this year.  _/\_ and thankfully, I’m not likely to forget, I have it tattooed on my arm…..   _/\_

More thoughts you  might like:

• fire rages within me
• reduced to joy
• Please help me set aside everything I know

be your own guru….

My dad always told me, “be your own Guru”.  

My mom added the word, “sometimes”.  

like? then you might like these:

Truth surrounds us

Who I am

The hinderance of our thinking

And, for sure check this guy out: www.jonathanfields.com/be-your-own-guru/

100 million americans are dissatisfied with their lives: it’s an epidemic.

I love people who speak with passion and irreverence, who insult our sense of reason, who are so direct you have to duck to avoid the genius of their comments, regardless of the temporary pain of confrontation….

Seriously watch this.  It’s 18 minutes in a 30 second world, but this sums up my life’s mission perfectly and I think everyone desperately needs to hear it:

Now, get off your ass, live bold and create happiness.

 

like?  then you might like this:

Happiness takes practice

How resilient is your happiness?

Stop seeking happiness..

What real happiness looks like

happiness is sexy

The Capitalist Monk

The wind up of a year in my world looks like the gathering of evidence and assessing how it went.  It looks like planning for the next year and creating budgets and goals and strategic plans.

Then, inevitably,  it looks like me struggling immensely with nearly the entire process because so much of it is in contrast to what I really believe, how I really want to live my life, what my gut tells me.

The goal setting and “planning”… defining what we want things to look like.. it all makes me totally sick if I am telling the truth.

I constantly weigh the effectiveness of a plan versus the spiritual practice and satisfying adventure of living in the present moment and I find the violent collision of the two different approaches leaving me feeling out-of-place with no tribe, alone and outnumbered.. like a guy straddled between two worlds who doesn’t know which one to choose…..Even though I am certain without a doubt the middle path is where my life always works effectively, I still find myself caught up in the struggle, wishing I could pick a team.

The struggle is so big for me this year it’s become visible to everyone around me.   I recently had someone suggest I couldn’t make up my mind between being a monk or a capitalist…  truth is, I am certain my work is to bring the best of both to each other.. but it’s a lonely road.     

I’ve been interviewing people who have a wide range of thought about how they approach this delicate balance of present moment mindfulness vs. future planning.  I even recently lead a workshop on the subject, uncovering what people really want their lives to look like and then dissecting what behavior and tools are necessary to make sure that happens…. I found most people lie to themselves—they say they want life to look a certain way, then when we talk thru what it will take to make that happen, they don’t want to do the work—meaning they don’t really want it.

They discover that to Chop wood and carry water requires constant focused effort that doesn’t necessarily feel good 100% of the time.

In preparation for this inevitable yearly process, I came up with numerous approaches to business planning and goal setting—I even dissected the value of goals versus non goals and I came across some fascinating research on establishing principles and core values versus goals as way to guide you…  I’m not sure one way is better than another, I am sure that what works best for you always works best.

I’m still wrestling with all the approaches I came up with.. even the ones I taught lots of other people to go thru…  it’s still not satisfying my personal struggle.  I still feel restless, without clear direction and concerned about how to chart our course.

I run multiple companies.  Every book, business expert and coach in the world says I need a clear and focused mission and vision; I need to be purposeful and on task so that everyone else can be too.  It’s the only way to grow.   My people depend on it.  Our success is literally contingent upon it.

But I just can’t.

Truth is, I never have been able to do it (even though every single year I try so hard… )   It’s simply not how I’m wired.

I just can’t shake this belief that where we end up is a result of a belief system, it’s result of how we make our choices each day, it’s a result of the way we live moment my moment, how we treat each person, what we wake up committed to each day.  I want us to be as fucking awesome as we possibly can today and for me, that requires not being attached to any pre-determined destination but rather, hell-bent on being the absolute best I can be today, being as kind and committed and awake and adding as much love to the moment and the planet and the person in front of me as I possibly can.

It really is about following guiding principles to achieve strategic goals, not instead of.  Rather than defining how many dollars, I’m more interesting in making sure we do things like be certain we love what we do, fiercely help others, build relationships and trust, be curious and grow, celebrate.   I am absolutely certain that the dollars will be the result of how well we do this each day.  I believe that if we authentically loved who we were and what we did each moment, then what we become will be just as noble because why obtain a goal if it’s not built on the daily behaviors of nobility? I just don’t want to.

Don’t get me wrong. I have multi-million dollar budgets and I’m hard-core about following them.  I have plans and a noble vision… .  I’m not all kumbaya… but tell me, this:  if we focus entirely on our core principles, are we likely to fail? I think not. And, if we did fail as a result, I would feel proud of how we showed up anyway.

Many people would rather be right than compassionate.

I would rather be compassionate than right…

related essays:

If your awesome, be awesome

Right livelihood; Why a big business is an essential part of a spiritual life

relying on my practice.

The largest part of my job, my daily responsibility, is the inner journey–  I may go to an office and sit at a desk and deal with perceived problems and dilemmas, but the “success” of that is directly dependent upon my inner work, my centered stability within me.  Increasing my mindfulness, being fully alive and authentic and true to myself first, trusting and believing myself– that’s actually how my business and life grows, glows and flourishes….

additional essays on spiritual practice:

Is Spiritual practice a waste?.  

For me, a spiritual practice is essential.

Spiritual Practice in all our affairs.

Related articles

• Will Meditation Change Me? (balateachings.wordpress.com)
• Community as a Spiritual Practice (findingourwayhomeblog.wordpress.com)
• Family Gatherings & Spiritual Practice. (elephantjournal.com)
• 13 Tips to Developing Your Spiritual Practice (sacredhearthblog.wordpress.com)
• Awareness is the magic key. (laurierohner.wordpress.com)
• Don’t Just Sit There, Burst Bubbles. ~ Jeri Senor (elephantjournal.com)
• Bodhi Meditation (oxygenisfree.wordpress.com)
• 9) Practice Spirituality for a Month (britt30x30.wordpress.com)

Possibly the three most important questions to ask yourself…

I’m teaching some goal / business planning workshops these days, centered around mindfulness and discovering what really matters.  Found a killer resource in my preparation:

1.  What do I want to experience out of life?

2.  How do I want to grow?

3.  What do I want to contribute to the planet?

if you’re awesome, be awesome.

I’m in love with the creative…  I hate the status quo.

I wrestle everyday with how to authentically promote things.. ideas, beliefs, my company and our services… without being overwhelmingly egoic.  I’m more of an “attraction” rather than “promotion” guy…..  I’d rather tell you about my experience strength and hope verses tell you what I think you should do.

After all, what the hell do I know about what’s right, wrong, healthy or not for you?

In business, I’d much prefer to do an incredible job with whomever’s in front of me and have that person tell the world versus me telling the world myself…but I’ve found this too is idealistic and the middle path yields better results.

The people I hang with these days all seem to be trying to practice non-ego, keeping their personalities out of things and trying to check in on their motivations and intentions… finding authentic nobility is really hard.  I support them, but I don’t necessarily agree…. I think it’s a very fine line between a healthy confidence in your actions and abilities versus an arrogant misrepresentation of reality.

I think if you do an awesome job and help humanity as a result of your efforts, why not help as many people as possible—- ?  —–  and, to get to them, confidence and promotion are powerful tools.  People are very attracted to authentic confidence and creative promotion just plain works….

I search for ways to reach people in a unique way– for example, I really want my entire life to be used up for the good of people, I want to make a difference and help everyone I can get in front of.  This web site is an example of that desire– a forum for me to share and serve in a unique way my desire for us all to stand up a little more, help each other, be as fiercely kind as possible and find whatever path works best for each of us to feel real happiness.  

I just ordered a kick ass new phone charger and it came with the best promotional approach I’ve come across in a long time;  nothing is better than authentic word of mouth advertising— it’s how great things are really built. And, nothing is wrong with a person or company actively inspiring people to spread the word.

I say, if you are awesome, it’s ok to be awesome.

GO PEOPLE GO! 

 

A spirit filled Black Friday survival guide…

I’m overwhelmed.

By the tents lined up in front of Best Buy, and by the hating of the tent people plastered all over Facebook…   the conundrum of these opposing views has me checking in with myself…. wondering what on earth is happening.

As my judgment consumed me, I found myself thinking about the planet and it’s inhabitance, the children in sweatshops across the world in deplorable conditions, the cycle of consumerism that’s crushing the spirit of our people….. I briefly considered writing about consumerism and the cycle desire creates… and sharing one of my all time favorite examples.. THE STORY OF STUFF  ( ok, I will share it, click here! ) 

I found myself filled with judgment not only towards the people in the tents and shopping on this day, but also for the people condemning them.  The hypocrisy is overwhelming considering the country we live, the lives we lead…. The hypocrisy of me condemning the two groups, both of which I sit squarely in the center of, is profound. 

My truth is, I have no clue how to fix it all, especially since I participate in it everyday.

These days, I’m committed to being for something versus against something, so I decided to explore what was going on and see what beauty I could find:

Two women in the Wal-Mart literally head butted each other over the last coffee pot.  Approaching the item, they seemed like decent and kind average folk.  It ended with both on the floor in a full-blown girl fight, the kind I loved to watch in the halls in middle school.

Two aisles over, a man was buying a backpack for his son to use for school.  He told me he saved $5.00 from his last 10 paychecks, and stood in the cold for 3 hours to ensure he could get the only one he could afford.

One of my closest friends lives on less than $500 a month.  He’s saved for 7 months to buy new running shoes today because they are at such a deep discount he can finally afford them….  He wore the other ones out competing in charity runs, raising money for local non-profits.

A mom-to-be told me how grateful she is that her company opened up on thanksgiving for the first time and she got picked to work; she got overtime, a hundred-dollar bonus and is saving all her time off for after her baby is born… she’s saved a full additional month of hours to be with her new child.  In addition, every customer she greets, she’s thanking them for the gift they’ve inadvertently given her.

A wise monk I know is buying a new computer today…. His only income is others generosity, so he had to wait for the black Friday sale.  Now he can share his spiritual teachings, experience strength and hope with so many people, connecting with others in a profound way that can alter humanity forever.

My friend is opening his new Guitar store today.  A business dedicated to fostering creativity and helping people re-align with what really matters.  At his front door today will be more than 5000 people, probably a number he won’t attract for the rest of the year combined.  Can you imagine the impact one sale could make?  What’s changed or defined this world more than music, more than the growth of the spirit inside the future musician?

So I’m surviving this black friday by seeing the good, the beauty, the blessings.

When I pay attention, focus in and work my practice, I see the suffering, and the beauty, within me and in everything…

the benefits of transparency..

A while ago, we made the painful decision to be transparent, to not hide anything and completely open our books for the entire company to see.

I’d known other folks who attempted this marginally–  trying to be in vogue and appear “open” but they’d not really gone all the way– they had line items and areas that they justified not disclosing due to sensitivities like people’s salaries, etc.

Not us.  We’re more of a hell-bent, do it or don’t, halfway is no way, let’s go all the way kinda people.

Every penny coming in and going out is visible.   Even the payroll lines.  Even my salary.  It’s so visible that we send it out to everyone every single month– showing exactly who we are and what we stand for.

I’ve lived with this approach now for more than 3 years.  It’s painful, horrible, infuriating.  I’ve screamed in more meetings than I care to admit about what a dumb idea this was, how much I hate it.  I’ve walked out more than once saying I’m changing it.

But I never end up following thru… because what I’ve really discovered is that while it’s an incredible burden, It’s also an enormous relief.

Transparency for me has meant I need to have conviction with my choices.  I don’t get to be sloppy or lazy or shrug stuff behind any curtains.  If I make a decision, everybody see’s and feels it.

When someone gets a raise, and when someone doesn’t… it means that we have to face the hard truth about what defines success and what we stand for and what we believe.  No funny business.    It’s created a level of equality that is hard to execute, but FEELS right at the end of the day.

For me, It’s what I call forced mindfulness.  I can’t do something without thought, I simply don’t have the luxury.  I must be mindful of my actions and intentions, I must get clear about what I stand for and I must be ready 24/7 to defend it in any and all settings, to hundreds of people who all see things a little differently.

It’s really taught me to be ok with people not agreeing with me.  It’s taught me to build consensus and how to sway people over time by doing what’s right and telling the truth.

I’ve found this transparency is contagious.  I find myself open and transparent in most aspects of my life now and always realizing that while it may not feel good in the moment, it ALWAYS works out better in the end.

Opening up in our business has shown me the value of making sure that my actions and behavior are in alignment with who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world and I’ve found it to be a natural progression to take this transparency and open book policy to everything because I want to be someone who is certain, mindful and deliberate and who believes in what he’s doing enough that I’m willing to fail or succeed on a grand, visible scale.

I’ve found the pressure of that yields awesome results.

More than all else, I’ve found that truth always spreads.

trans·par·ent

tranˈspe(ə)rənt,-ˈspar-/

adjective

1.  (of a material or article) allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen.

 

To be most effective, become disenchanted with your mind..

Sometimes the fuel of ambition, greed, stress, embers from a deal on fire, passionate creativity or just simply way too much coffee wakes me in the night.

On such occasions, I end the struggle by getting up and finding my way to a new space.

Back in the day, that space would have been my office—hell bent on building and creating, I’d plow thru mountains of work and concur the things I thought would move things forward in a big way.

That effort yielded beautiful results that I continue to reap.  It was a worthy and important chapter, one I have ongoing gratitude for.  I’ve never met anyone who built anything amazing who didn’t get woken up in the night fueled with desire to do more.

Eventually I discovered that work creates more work and the cycle and effort no longer fulfills me in the way it once did.    I need more now.   Maybe to satisfy my manic ADD vibe, or maybe, because as I grow I want things deeper, simpler, more impactful.

I want to do more with less now….   I’ve found much of what I did, much of the effort I expended didn’t yield the results I was after.   Instead I began to recognize that a much smaller segment of my effort yielded nearly all the results.

This awareness has me focused now on the things that matter.

As straightforward and “productive” as making this change in behavior sounds, realizing what works and what yields the most results wasn’t enough for me.  Letting go of the things I did that weren’t getting me where I needed to go proved much harder than I thought.

It still does.

I had to let go of things that felt natural to me, things that are fun, even inspiring.  I had to do some things that felt scary, uncomfortable, unnatural.

In the early days of trying to make this shift, I didn’t have the evidence to rely on, I had to let go of things and feelings that I had, for decades, believed had great benefit to me.  I had to trust that I’d find a new way and it would work better.

Changing my thinking takes intense awareness.

Thankfully, awareness is what allows all change for a guy like me… if I become aware something’s not fruitful or it’s somehow incongruent with who I want to be, what I want to stand for, I can’t keep doing it for long.

It’s a much bigger shift than just business—every aspect of this life, for me, requires focus and practice to make the most out of it.   I sincerely want the most out of it—to do the most good I can, to help as many people as I can and to live as deeply and kindly as possible.

Probably a million things helped me work on this, to make this shift in my life—Lots of people have come before talking about the 80/20 rule in life, about how to focus in on what matters, how to change behavior and shift perspective and consciousness so that we live the most fulfilling and effective lives possible.  The resources are endless.

I’m grateful to them all because I’m obsessed with things that are effective.

These days, instead of finding my way to the office in the middle of the night, I do other things.  I might walk my driveway, loving the stars and feeling the ground under my feet holding me up in a way that I benefit from.  I might meditate and create headspace, dedicated time for me to observe my mind, to watch my thoughts and emotions and uncover the motivations, to really take the time to see and feel what’s actually going on.  This allows me to work on the root of stuff versus the outcome of stuff—that alone changes everything.  I write like crazy, using this tool as one of my most sacred creative expressions of who I really am.  I might work out like a mad dog, loving the expenditure of energy and the necessity to breath in a repetitious and demanding way… nothing clears my head better than breathing.  This all yields far more results than I ever realized.  I’m totally stunned at the inspiration that comes, the solutions that arrive, the renewed energy to tackle something.. it’s so much more productive than I would have ever given it credit for.  So often, solving a big problem comes when I do something else for a while.

Over time, I find kindness works best to figure out what yields the most.  When I’m kind to myself and kind to the world, everything works out.  I find the best way, I find the most effective path, where I need to spend my time, what I need to do in any given moment, how I need to act… —for me, when I pursue what’s kindest for all, it’s literally ALWAYS the most effective and most rewarding approach.

A mistake I made was I believed the reward was in how I felt in any given moment, but I’ve learned over time that how I feel in a given moment is untrustworthy at best….  In fact, I’ve become disenchanted with my more immediate feelings and thoughts, recognizing that what influences them isn’t always worthy of my energy or trust.

I’m learning to shift my thinking and behavior to yield more sustainable results, sustainable happiness.

Whew… just in time.

“Perceiving this, bhikkhus, the learned and noble disciple becomes

disenchanted with the mind, with mental objects, with mind-consciousness,

with mind-contact; and whatever sensation, pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral,

which originates in dependence on mind-contact, with that also he becomes

disenchanted.

 

“And through this disenchantment, the noble disciple becomes

dispassionate; and by the absence of passion, free; and when free, aware of

that freedom; aware that rebirth is exhausted, that the holy life has been

lived, that what was to be done has been done, and that there is

nothing more to do in this body-mind existence.” ~ from the Adittapariyaya Sutta: The Fire Sermon